She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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