Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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