thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
