I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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