we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My liver just had a heart attack.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
