Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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