This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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