But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im holly from the hills drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
