Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
