I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
