i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
