you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if only i could text you this smell
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Randomize