he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
