I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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