so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
