It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
