guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh god it's open bar.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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