Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
