Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
