Ambien. No doubt about it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
