I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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