So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
