I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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