Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
