STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
