As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think my vagina is haunted
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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