I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
