why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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