Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
