i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
