It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
