Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
