Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
