i permit you to call me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
