i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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