I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
