I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You're earring is so big in my mouth
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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