Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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