protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
