you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
