do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
where does the pee come out of this thing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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