I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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