There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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