Screwed.edu
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
