There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
