thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
