i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
