is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
