He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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