So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
