I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
