How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
