It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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