Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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