At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
