Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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