There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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